


Five Times Luci and Elfo Fought (And the One Time They Worked Together)

by Doctor_Discord



Series: Five Times... [3]
Category: Disenchantment (TV 2018)
Genre: Bean is so done with these dorks, Blood, Cigarettes, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Luci vs Elfo, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Petty Squabbling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-07 21:49:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15916923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Discord/pseuds/Doctor_Discord
Summary: Just as the title says, Luci and Elfo get into a bunch of petty fights, mainly over Bean, who is so done and slightly worried. The first one is just a bit intense though.





	1. Chapter 1

Luci liked Bean.

…not something he planned to happen.

He first noticed this when Bean had literally dove over a volcano to save him from that creepy exorcist. The entire time she and Big Joe fought, his chest felt tight and fear _for her_ clouded every thought process he had. Then, afterwards, his entire body felt like it was filled with butterflies when she admitted to missing him. When they’d gotten back home to Dreamland, confused, he’d asked the magical ball what was happening to him. He’d never forget the words it had displayed:

**_YOU’RE IN LOVE, DIMWIT._ **

Initially, he had scoffed, hiding the terror boiling in his gut. Demons didn’t _fall in love_. That was stupid. The only emotions he felt were annoyance and apathy. He didn’t even know how to _respond_ to other emotions, let alone experience them. He did _not_ love Bean. No way.

Yet…the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. When he’d first been assigned this job to corrupt Princess Tiabeanie of Dreamland, he’d expected some boring, stuck-up princess who didn’t know how to kick back and _relax_. He expected to have his work cut out for him. He was definitely _not_ expecting…well… _Bean_. A raging alcoholic with an adrenaline addiction who defied the patriarchy and had a bone to pick with ever authority figure she came across. Seeing her in action for the first time as they escaped her wedding, it took everything he had not to let his jaw hit the floor.

So, yes, he’ll admit it. He was completely in love with Bean. So why not embrace it?

There was just one, _tiny_ problem.

Elfo.

He had absolutely _no idea_ how the elf had discovered his infatuation, but he’d cornered Luci shortly after they’d gotten back to the castle from the witch’s freeing, but here they were. The demon was lounging on the gargoyle just to the left of Bean’s wide window, cigarette in hand and his tail swishing lazily through the cool air. The sun was just beginning to set, and, Luci hated to admit it, it was beautiful. He didn’t even flinch when he heard the door open and shut, thinking Bean was back from Bunty kidnapping her for a bath, something about smelling like unicorn vomit. “Hey Bean.” He saw a flash of green out of the corner of his eye, and then Elfo was scrambling onto the window ledge, short little legs dangling into the open air. Luci’s eyes narrowed. “Ugh. You’re not Bean.” He took a long drag from his cigarette.

Elfo crosses his arms. “You _like_ Bean, don’t you?”

Luci’s eyes snapped wide, accidentally swallowing his cigarette. He coughed heavily. “H-how did you–”

“Ha! So it _is_ true!” Elfo’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Well, just in case you were thinking of trying anything, she’s _mine_. I called dibs!”

Luci snorted, rolling his eyes and finally regaining his usual smooth demeanor. “She’s a person, you moron, you can’t call ‘dibs’. Besides, you _do_ realize that she murdered two of three people who last said that to her, and the third turned into pig. Which, by the way, I will admit was a nice touch on your part.” He couldn’t help but laugh as Elfo’s cheeks turned a much darker shade of green.

“Yeah, well…you’re a _demon_. You don’t know what’s best for her! If I wasn’t here to stop you, you would’ve inadvertently killed her within the first week!”

His eyes narrowed.“Please, I may be a demon, but I know when to quit. Besides, when she dies, I just get zapped back to Hell, and I like it up here. I’d rather stay up here for as long as I possibly can.” He glanced at Elfo. “And Bean’s perfectly capable of taking care of herself. She sure as Hell doesn’t need you, or me, ‘knowing what’s best for her’.” He produced another cigarette, igniting the tip of his finger to light it.

Elfo made a small growling noise in the back of his throat, and Luci couldn’t help but chuckle at that bizarre noise. Until he felt a small hand wrap around his tail and _pull_ , yanking him off the gargoyle.

“ _Hey_! Elfo, are you fucking _insane_? Pull me up so I can beat your ass!” The demon couldn’t help the twinge of fear entering his voice as he stared down at the rocky shore far, _far_ below. He felt himself slip in Elfo’s grasp. “ _Shit_! Pull me up, man!”

“Will you back off of Bean?” Luci looked up to see Elfo standing on the window ledge, both hands wrapped around his tail. The elf let him slip a little further.

He dangled limply. “What the Hell, man! This is nuts!” Realizing Elfo wasn’t going to cooperate anytime soon, Luci let his tail extend, growing longer and longer. He began to swing back and forth, gaining more momentum till he was able to launch himself back onto the window sill, wasting no time in tackling Elfo bodily back into Bean’s room.

The two grappled on the floor, rolling around. Luci eventually came out on top, pinning the elf, who still had a firm grip on his tail, down. “What the fuck is your problem, man! Calm down!” Elfo said nothing, instead using Luci’s own tail to slap him across the face. His head whipped to the side. Luci let out a low, beast-like growl, and lit his tail on fire, prompting Elfo to let go with a yelp. In one fluid movement, Luci sank his teeth into the elf’s shoulder, who in turn let out a harsh shriek.

Luci held fast, even as Elfo writhed underneath him, eyes squeezed shut. Elfo managed to get his feet against Luci’s stomach and he kicked upwards, dislodging the demon and flinging him against one of Bean’s bedposts. He dropped to the floor on all fours. The two stared at each other from across the room, breathing hard, Elfo with a hand pressed to his weeping shoulder and Luci licking the elf’s blood off his fangs.

Luci rose steadily to his feet, tail jerking around like an angry cat’s. “Fine,” he hissed. “If it’s a fight you want, it’s a fight you’ve got.” The two creatures hurled themselves at each other, colliding in midair. Luci spat and hissed and scratched like a wild animal, snarling venomously. Elfo’s attacks were slightly more thought-out, spinning and dodging Luci’s feral movements. He danced out of the way just in time, and Luci barreled past him, skidding to halt. Before the demon could turn around, Elfo grabbed his tail once more, looping his other arm around Luci’s neck and pinning his body to his. Struggling to maintain his grip, hit bit down hard on one of Luci’s ears. He howled, writhing and clawing at Elfo’s arm as deep purple blood ran down the side of his head. His flailing tail nicked the elf’s cheek, making him gasp and loosen his grip, and Luci took the opportunity to scramble away.

Elfo spat out the demon’s blood, gagging at the taste. Luci was crouched on all fours in a defensive position in the darkest corner of the room, his eyes practically glowing. His body was smoking. The two stared each other down, waiting to see who would make the next move, tensed and ready to retaliate.

Luci’s body erupted in flames, and the battle continued.

* * *

 

Bean slowly made her way back to her room, smiling sleepily and perfectly content. A long, hot bath was _just_ what she needed after committing murder and setting an innocent woman free. Eyes closed and yawning hugely, she opened the door to her room, stepping inside. Her eyes opened and her entire body froze, mouth open and eyes wide.

Her room was completely _trashed_. Scorch and claw marks marred the floor and walls, and splatters of purple and red liquid decorated nearly every surface. The most disturbing detail, however, were Luci and Elfo, both limp on the floor and _covered_ with wounds.

“What the _fuck_ oh my God are you two okay?!” She raced over to Luci, the demon being the closest one to her. Luci cracked open as eye, raising his head and immediately dropping it again, groaning in pain. When she touched him he hissed, cringing away. Her fingertips came back stained purple. “What the fuck _happened_ to you two?!”

Luci mumbled something, face pressed to the floor. When Bean gave him a quizzical look he sighed, repeating himself. “We were fighting.”

Bean blinked, realization dawning on her. Her jaw dropped. “You mean…you did this to _each other_?! What the _fuck_ , guys! What could you have _possibly_ been fighting about?!”

Luci waved his tail in the direction of Elfo. “Hey hey hey, _he_ started it. He was dangling me out of the fucking window by my _tail_.”

Bean raised an eyebrow. Elfo made a noise, eyelids fluttering. “No…he’s right…I started it.” He whimpered, pressing a shaky hand to a wound on his shoulder that was still bleeding sluggishly.

She stared at them both, assessing their injuries. Aside from the wound on his left shoulder, Elfo’s right arm was torn to shreds. His shirt was in tatters, barely hiding the deep scratches covering his chest. She could see the angry red of a burn on his right hand, too, and a small cut on his cheek. Luci was slightly better off; there were bite marks decorating one of his ears, dried blood staining the side of his head. There were more bite marks, some bleeding, some not, running up and down his tail, and a single deep gash running down the length of his body. His left leg also looked funny. Both were covered in their own and each other’s blood.

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. “Okay, Luci, I’m gonna pick you up, alright? You two need to get cleaned up, and I don’t think you can walk with your leg all twisted like that.” Luci tensed, nodding curtly, and Bean carefully slid her hands underneath his taut body. She winced when he cried out, trying to go as carefully and quickly as possible. He went worryingly lax when she finally lifted him up, holding him close to her chest. He shifted closer to her warmth before sagging in her hold. She glanced down at him, then to Elfo. “Elfo? Can you stand?” The little elf nodded, climbing shakily to his feet, then followed her out the door.

She missed Luci opening one eye and grinning smugly at the elf, sticking his forked tongue out at him, and Elfo’s glare, returning the gesture in kind.


	2. Chapter 2

Luci snuck around the castle, looking for a certain green little someone. Yesterday had been their _fantastic_ trip to Dankmire, and the demon was still pretty pissed off at Elfo. After the elf had taken his tail hostage, the green bastard had basically used it as a leash to drag Luci all the way home, leaving him seething and plotting for revenge. Right now, he was stalking closer to Sorcerio’s laboratory, suspecting that that may be where Elfo was lurking. Per Zøg’s request, well, _demand_ , Elfo really wasn’t allowed anywhere in the castle besides the wizard’s lab, Bean’s bedroom, and the throne room.

Luci peeked his head around the corner, looking cautiously into the dimly lit lab. He grinned. Elfo was sitting in his cage, eating what looked like a cookie with the transparent tube hooked up to his wrist. Sorcerio was nowhere to be seen. Muffling his laugh, he darted into the room, sticking to the shadows and making his way to Elfo’s cage without him noticing. He situated himself on the stool conveniently placed directly under the elf. Elfo was humming some happy-go-lucky tune that made Luci want to gag, rolling his eyes instead. He inhaled deeply, and exhaled a slow stream of fire, heating up the bottom of the cage where Elfo was sitting.

Elfo stopped humming, making a small noise of discomfort as he shifted, making the chains clink. Luci could barely hide his snicker, repeating the action and listening as Elfo yelped, fidgeting relentlessly now. “Luci? Is that you?” The demon said nothing, climbing the side of the cage so carefully that it didn’t even sway, and flicked his ear, ducking back down again in record time as Elfo yelped again, cage swaying as he glanced around frantically. “C-come on, Luci, I-I know it’s you!”

Luci leapt on top of the cage, light as a feather and completely out of sight. “You can’t prove anything! Who knows, maybe Zøg finally decided to eat you! After all, you smelled goddamn _delicious_ after those two German weirdos tried to roast you alive.” Elfo squeaked, clearly not fond of the reminder. Luci just laughed, dangling his tail in front of Elfo’s face.

“Luci! That isn’t funny! Why are you doing this?” Luci wished he had popcorn – this was _theatre_ right here.

“You’re right, it _isn’t_ funny; its hilarious!” Luci smirked as Elfo whined. “As for _why_ , you don’t just hold a guy’s tail captive for _hours_ and _not_ expect repercussions. Seriously man, what’d you think I was gonna do? Just forget about it and let you go about your weird, sugary life and _not_ get you back for it in some way?” As he talked he worked on unhooking the cage from the ceiling, wrapping his legs around the chain so he wouldn’t plummet with the elf. “Aaaaand…ah-ha!”

He left the cage off its hook and it rocketed straight to the ground, Elfo in tow. The door sprang open on impact, sending Elfo sprawling. “Oww!” He glared up at the demon, rubbing his head. Luci simply laughed to himself and dangled his tail _just_ out of reach, teasing him. He turned his head away for a moment to light a cigarette, and, in that brief second, Elfo scrambled up onto the stool and grabbed Luci’s tail, yanking him down from the dangling chain.

“Augh! Hey, what are you–” Elfo shoved him against a leg of the large desk and wound his tail around his body, pinning his arms to his sides and his body to the desk, the limb magically extending to accommodate. “Hold on a second, you’re gonna overextend my tail! Elfo!” Elfo tied a quick knot, securing the demon in place, then stepped away, snickering. Luci shifted, but even that slight movement caused a twinge of pain to shoot down his tail, stretched to the limit. He growled, eye twitching, and Elfo had the decency to look scared, backing away slowly toward the door.

“Sorry, Luci. I-I’ll get Bean to come up here and free you…eventually.” Then the elf bolted, racing down the stairs, his high-pitched giggle echoing in his wake.

“Hey! Get back here you piece of shit, don’t leave me here! Elfo, when I find you I’m going to boil your teeth and skewer your eyeballs! _Elfo_!”

He only stopped shouting once Elfo’s laughter had completely faded, instead grumbling a slew of insults and curses under his breath so fast they where indecipherable. Some didn’t even sound English. Luci let out a deep, long-suffering sigh before slumping as much as he could without causing himself pain.

He was going to _kill_ Elfo.

* * *

Bean groaned, exasperated, as she climbed up the long, winding staircase up to Sorcerio’s lab. Elfo had said that the eccentric wizard needed her for… _something_ , but he never specified _what_ exactly. When pressed for details, the elf had shut down, stuttering, before racing out of the room.

Finally, the disgruntled princess reached the rather plain door, considering what was behind it. Stepping into the lab, she glanced around. Not seeing the old wizard around, she called out, “Sorcerio? You in here? Elfo said you needed me.” She started a bit when the voice that responded was definitely _not_ Sorcerio.

“Bean! Fucking _finally_ , I am going to _burn_ that elf!”

“Luci?! What are you doing here, what-where are you?!” A small puff of flames was her answer. The demon was leaning against one of the legs of Sorcerio’s desk. Upon closer inspection, however, it was revealed that he _wasn’t_ leaning; his own tail was wrapped around him and the leg tightly, trapping him firmly in place. “What…how…who _did_ this?”

Luci’s eyes narrowed, hissing lowly. “Fucking _Elfo_. Hey – ow!” Bean flinched back from picking at the knot in his tail. Eventually, she got it undone, and the limb gradually shortened to its normal length. Luci took a step forward, winced, then climbed up Bean till he was sitting on her shoulder. “Wanna help me get that green asshole so high he won’t notice when we steal his clothes?”

Bean grinned, eyes twinkling. “Absolutely.”

**Author's Note:**

> YES! MORE DISENCHANTMENT FANFIC! THIS FANDOM NEEDS MORE FANFIC AND THIS SHALL BE MY CONTRIBUTION!


End file.
